Funny Stuff


I can honestly say that I wasn’t the kind of woman who had a lot of “I will nevers” before becoming a mom. I am a realist through and through, so I mostly understood that there was no way to predict what life would be like after having children. But even with all of my level-headedness, there are still a few things that have happened since Lincoln was born that required me to eat my words.

I remember going to the homes of people with children and thinking, “Why the heck is their car such a mess? Why is everything broken? And why are there crayon marks on the walls?  Can’t they control these kids?” Little did I know,  there would come a day I would be sitting in the pharmacy drive-thru trying to have an important conversation with the pharmacist with a screaming baby in the back. I had no idea that in that moment, I would happily hand him an entire container of Puffs in the hopes of getting just one minute of quiet. And as we would pull away from the drive-thru, I would hear the sound; The distinct sound that occurs when hundreds of puffy rice cereal pieces are dumped out. Dirty mom car.

I had no idea that window blinds were so fragile that they would easily snap when a toddler decided to peek out to see what was going on outside…..and another set would snap when he thought it would be fun to pull them out far enough so that he could toss cars and sippy cups behind them and watch it all land on the window sill. Broken things around the house.

I didn’t know the speed with which a little boy can find an ink pen, open it, and draw a masterpiece on a leather chaise lounge. Thankfully, I would also learn that hair spray works like a magic eraser on leather. And right as I was about to post this, I caught him driving his cars on the wall, which resulted in some skid marks. Drawings/markings in inappropriate locations around the house.

So now I get it.  It makes total sense that sometimes things get broken, and there’s not time/money/energy to immediately replace them. I know why people with children do not have perfect, spotless homes. I saw something on Pinterest that said, “Cleaning house while the kids are home is like shoveling snow while it’s still snowing”. Ummm, yes.

I understand that not everyone’s lives will be like this, but mine is, and I’m slowly learning to be okay with that. If you have a calm, relaxed child, you may never experience the craziness I mentioned above. I hear that some kids don’t spend every waking moment climbing, running, throwing, yelling. I wouldn’t know. Some parents just have Type A personalities and keeping a perfect house is a top priority, so they learn to achieve that. I have neither of those things working in my favor, so I find myself in the so-not-Supermom category, and that’s okay.

To all the moms I silently judged in the past, please accept my apologies. You can stop by my house unexpectedly and judge me as my punishment. Or you can look in my car’s floorboard on any given day and give me a disapproving look when you see a few Annie’s Cheddar Bunnies lying there. I’ve learned my lesson. There is a good reason why we have marks on the walls, food on the floor and overall total chaos at certain points. It’s called children, and more specifically for me, rowdy toddler.

I’m sure it’s hard to believe this innocent looking child caused all the problems I wrote about, but believe it. Here’s a snapshot of the only time he is still and calm. Bed time.

2 thoughts on “Apologies

  1. My car is always a disaster. I have holes in my walls (with toys stuffed down them). There are plenty of crayon marks in each room of my house. And, my kids are never quiet enough for me to have a thought that even remotely resembles completeness. Scatter brain. ALL day long. It’s their fault. I don’t judge you or your not-so-supermom-ness.

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