Yesterday as I was getting ready for church, I came across that positive home pregnancy test buried deep in a drawer. I’m not sure if it’s strange that I kept it, but I felt that little piece of plastic drastically changed my life, and I couldn’t toss it in the garbage. It was funny finding it, because it made me go back to September and remember the morning I took it.
I had gone from not wanting kids anytime soon to thinking it could be fun at some point to desperately wanting a baby in a matter of months. I can’t explain it, but it’s just the way it is. When we decided I should stop taking my pills, I was certain I would be pregnant immediately. (After all, weren’t we all made to feel that a boy just looking at us could impregnate us during our teen years? Or a public toilet seat. Remember that one?) Of course, what really happened was that it took a few months for my body to adjust to coming off of a hormonal birth control pill. And that’s when my POAS (pee on a stick) addiction began.
I’ll never forget the first month we were trying to get pregnant and I bought a home pregnancy test. I took that thing way before you’re supposed to, and I bawled at the negative result. Pathetic? Yes. I’d say so. I took it right before I went to meet Mike for lunch, and I was determined not to tell him about my pathetic-ness. I sat quietly across the table from him. (This was probably the first clue that something was wrong) He asked what was going on. I said nothing, which in female language always means something. He’s a smart guy, so he kept asking knowing that little fun fact about women. I said You’ll think I’m being stupid if I tell you. He said No I won’t. Just tell me. (Cue the waterworks) I’m not pregnant! (sob, sob, sob) Well it’s only been a month. Were you really expecting to be? (sob, sob, sob) I don’t know, but it’s my mom’s birthday this week, and I really wanted to surprise her.
Poor Mike. Thank God, it was only a few short months until I found out I was pregnant. During those few short months, I must have spent a small fortune buying those darn tests, and every time I saw a negative I had a mini-breakdown. I became addicted to POAS. In light of this, Mike decided to ban home pregnancy tests from our household. I tell that story to explain why I hid the fact that I was going to take a test the morning it was actually positive.
It was a Saturday morning. It was around 7:00 am. Yeah, I don’t like 7:00 am any day of the week, but especially on Saturday I try to sleep well past it if possible. But the POAS addiction had me wide awake. I knew it was early to test, but I bought one of those “test up to 5 days early” things hoping it would work. I snuck out of bed and quietly went to the bathroom to keep Mike from knowing what I was doing. Lo & behold, the faintest little pink line showed up on that test. I honestly thought I was seeing things since my eyes were still blurry from sleeping.
After pacing the house for a while trying to decide if I should wake Mike to tell him, I went back into our room. I started to lightly rub his back just enough that I knew he would hear what I was about to say, but not enough to actually wake him up. I said, You’re going to be a daddy. His eyes became as big as saucers, and he was immediately awake. He still complains teasingly about the way I chose to announce it to him, but if you know us, it was the perfect way.
So that’s the story that was in my mind all morning yesterday on Mother’s Day. That’s where it all began. Now I sit here almost 38 weeks pregnant, and it feels like forever ago. That was one of the best moments of my life, and I know there are so many new “best moments” coming up very soon.
Now I’d like to take a moment to brag about how wonderful my husband is. I was not expecting anything for Mother’s Day yesterday since our baby is still “inside” at this point. I didn’t say a word about it, because I didn’t feel I had the right to ask for anything yet. Much to my surprise, Mike brought home a beautiful necklace that I had stopped to look at when we were shopping a while back. I was shocked, and it was so nice to be honored by my husband. He’s been a pretty amazing husband, and I know he’s going to be an incredible dad.